As the teenage begins, you feel numerous changes in yourself, physically and emotionally. All these changes are because of hormonal changes which are highest during teenage years. The beginning of sexual feelings gives rise to certain subject matter which needs to be understood. To initiate this sensitive topic, we must understand sexuality.
The human race is divided into three categories:
In terms of sexuality, there are 4 major divisions:
1) Hetrosexual: these are that category of humans who are romantically and physically attracted to the opposite gender. This means a male is attracted to a female and vice versa. These are called “straight “.
2) Homosexual: this category of people is attracted to people of the same gender. Which means females are attracted to females (will be called lesbians) and males are attracted to males (called gay)
3) Bisexual: this category of humans is romantically and physically involved with both the genders. Which means a male will be attracted to both males and females. And same goes for females.
4) Asexual: this category of people is not sexually inclined. They are looking only for emotional intimacy and not romantic closeness.
Besides these broad divisions, there are certain sub-categories which may include people from any of the above categories:
1) Demi sexual: these people begin sexual activity only after they build a strong emotional bond with their partner. They do not feel attraction to any celebrity or a random person. It is regardless of any gender. They are the ones who are never looking for one-night stands or casual sex.
2) Sapiosexual: these people look for a particular characteristic to get attracted to them. They find intelligence, a certain type or level of education, a particular interest or quality etc. as turn on.
3) Pan sexual: these people are attracted to all genders (males, females and Transgender).
4) Gray-A: this is considered the area between sexuality and asexuality. They have extreme low desire for sexual activity. They feel aroused in certain specific conditions; each has its own different terms.
5) Auto sexual: these are the people who are attracted to their own body; they are the ones who love to love themselves. They like to look at their nude bodies in pictures or mirror.
Sexual orientation is a mix of biology, psychology and environment factors. It is a play of genes and hormones. It is natural as no one chooses their identity.
It is extremely difficult to understand any other category besides being straight. Though now it’s legal under section 377.
The teens who feel they are not in the heterosexual category suffer the most since they are expected to be straight.
They get negative response and hence begin to hide themselves. Other teenagers may bully them or make fun of them. Sometimes they may face violence too. This leads to drug use and depression. They tend to keep their sexuality a secret and hence suffer later on in life.
It must also be informed that any person with any sexual orientation is prone to STI’s (sexually transmitted diseases) and risk of pregnancy. Maintaining sexual health and hygiene is imperative.
How to know your sexual orientation:
· Take time and feel your feelings. Do not repress.
· Read about being differently sexual to understand yourself better
· It may change over time. It may be wrong at times. You cannot be sure very soon.
· It’s important to keep a check on who are you more attracted to? Romantically and sexually.
· You can accept any change in yourself or have surety only after the act. Remember, sometimes sexuality changes depending on the person on the other side.
· Give yourself enough time and don’t force yourself into any category
· If confused, or unable to understand yourself, seek guidance from LGBTQ groups or medical counselor.
· Believe in yourself and that there is nothing wrong if you have a different sexual preference than others.
“Coming out” means revealing true sexual orientation to the family. Talking to someone who understands you is extremely important. It could be family, friend or a medical counselor.
How to discuss the sensitive topic with family?
· Talk only when you are sure and comfortable with your own sexuality
· If possible, have someone with you as a support
· Be informative to answer the questions by them
· The timing to discuss is crucial.
· Be sure of your future before coming out.
· They may also need to talk to your counselor to understand and accept such a fact.
· After the discussion, give them space to digest the fact. Be patient.
· Be ready for worst case scenario, like financial cut off, asked to move out, or change your sexuality, get married and everything will be fine.
Having an unusual preference is not a subject of any debate. Do not regard yourself as different or abnormal. You are a flawlessly well individual with your own choices.