As you begin a period of mindful dating, you must also consider the deal breakers in a relationship. Having so will help you understand your status better and also help you know whether you are with the right person or not. Certain points should be clear in couples so that scope of misunderstanding reduces.
Deal breakers should not be those characteristics which can be ignored or can be worked upon if the partner wants. These should be the ones which are habitual and changing them can be really difficult or impossible. Or issues those are in opposition to your values and principles.
Bad breath, unkempt hair, poor hygiene, poor choice of clothes and shoes, different food choices, etc may not be considered deal breakers as these are not the character of the person. These can be changed and scope of improvement exists.
The actual deal breakers are where the partners feels they have had enough and not viable to go on like this. And the character of the other individual cannot be altered. It’s the behavior of them which needs more than words to help them change.
Some examples of such deal breakers can be:
1) Emotional or physical abuse. If the partner abuses you physically or even emotionally, carrying on with the relationship may be a terrible choice. It’s really difficult for the person to stop this behavior permanently. Temporary changes can be seen to sustain the relationship.
2) They lie: if the partner has the habit of lying, there can be no trust, which is the foundation of any relationship. Some lies which are not detrimental for the relationship may be overlooked, but a continuance of hiding matters is not justifiable.
3) Addiction: if the partner is addicted to alcohol, drugs, smoke, etc and they are incapable of de-addiction, it may become difficult to maintain the relationship. It makes no sense to wait for them to unlearn. If they are unable to discontinue, and it has an effect on your life, it must be taken seriously.
4) Cheating on your partner can never be tolerated. If something happened by mistake, own up to it without delay. But if you are deliberately deceitful, it’s always better to break up.
5) Lack of ambition: if your partner does not have a goal in life, it may get complicated to cope with afterwards. In the end success is imperative. A fine profession and career is required to maintain a contented life.
6) They haven’t introduced you to family and friends: if so, talk it out. Find out the cause. Possibly they are not so serious and don’t have long term plans with you. In such case it’s healthier to call off before getting too emotionally involved.
7) Last minute plan cancellation: if this takes place frequently, it may indicate they are not interested in going out with you. You are not a priority. It may be commencement of closing stages of a relationship.
8) Lack of emotional and physical intimacy: They are not available whenever you need them during your lows. They don’t like to show physical forms of connection and don’t like when you do the same. You feel distant from them even if they are right in front of you.
9) Taken for granted: if you are constantly expected to understand their situation and are not receiving equivalent in response, you are not in the correct place.
10) They fight dirty: If they do not identify their confines during a fight, or do not become conscious about what can upset you, they may use erroneous language or expressions to exchange blows. Now and again it may be revealing of certain secrets just to offend you.
11) Lack of adjustment: If both of you are not on same page and they never adjust or accommodate as per you, it may get intricate in future.
12) Possessive: Partners are overprotective about each other. But if this goes beyond limits, they are either too possessive about you, jealous of other people in your life, and you don’t get much liberty of your own life, then rethink your decision. You cannot be with someone for life span if you are checked upon like a prisoner at all times.
13) You are not happy: If you are not contented with them and constantly end up in an awful frame of mind, it’s moment in time to break off. A relationship should endow you with love, respect, care and cheerful moments.
Remember, you have got single life and your family has invested a lot of love and faith in you. It will not provide any joy to them to find you in a toxic and loveless relationship.
You tend to close the eyes to these flaws at early stage since you would want to give more chances to your loved one but be vigilant if the conduct does not change. If you face a dilemma time after time and conversation does not lead to a pleasing place, you have to take action in your favor. It’s in good health to end sooner than being in a taxing relationship.